Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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