just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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