I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
