Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
