Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
