need another drink. this is the easiest way
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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