my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize