is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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