i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
