Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
