my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
