We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
