it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
