i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
