I'm eating all of the evidence.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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