you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
