Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
