That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize