Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
