I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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