Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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