Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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