Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Randomize
