Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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