Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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