If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
