I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
