Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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