the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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