i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
