I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
