he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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