you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
