You work out of a Hotel?
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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