she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize