So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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