Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize