I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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