I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Randomize