there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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