I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
