I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
