I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
