my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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