All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
pray to the hookup gods
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
