I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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