Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Randomize
