If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
