i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
