living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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