Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
last night I used snow as a chaser
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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