Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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