Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize