A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
