So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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