Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
