What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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