mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize