Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize