So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
