you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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